I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
