i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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