Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
