You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
