If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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