Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
