Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
