Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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