Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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