theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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