Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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