Ambien. No doubt about it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
