Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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