This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
