just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
