I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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