just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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