Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
