Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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