Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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