So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
