he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
