we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
