Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize