My nipple is on Facebook.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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