can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
