oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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