What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, beer. Big fan.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine