Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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  (773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.

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  (205): but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule. http://tfl.nu/cjcr
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

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  (602): Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote. http://tfl.nu/5km0
  Replies (128) Good night (1139) Bad night (34714)
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  (818): View more from California

  Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.

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  (818): Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs. http://tfl.nu/c051
  Replies (100) Good night (3018) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

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  (559): With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake. http://tfl.nu/no1z
  Replies (6) Good night (3257) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.

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  (304): just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter. http://tfl.nu/doob
  Replies (10) Good night (5163) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.

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  (803): you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night. http://tfl.nu/8q1c
  Replies (11) Good night (4690) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.

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  (513): I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me. http://tfl.nu/k06t
  Replies (47) Good night (9620) Bad night (1923) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.

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  (513): All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit. http://tfl.nu/0ntj
  Replies (9) Good night (1113) Bad night (1722) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.

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  (908): I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats. http://tfl.nu/npuf
  Replies (7) Good night (1449) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week

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  (716): Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week http://tfl.nu/sqfo
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  her dad gauges his nipple piercings.

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  (417): her dad gauges his nipple piercings. http://tfl.nu/b294
  Replies (8) Good night (345) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.

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  (404): Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets. http://tfl.nu/bkpk
  Replies (7) Good night (1415) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF

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  (304): Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF http://tfl.nu/pima
  Replies (5) Good night (984) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.

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  (267): Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one. http://tfl.nu/nwfi
  Replies (5) Good night (638) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt

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