We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible