this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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