where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
