Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Randomize
