Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
