New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
