Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
