Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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