Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
