you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
