God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
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please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
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He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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