My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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