So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.