Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

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(904): View more from Florida

Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon

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(563): View more from Iowa

Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant

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(727): View more from Florida

I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun

(1-727): View more from Florida

he's literally satan but yeah probably

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