Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we dont do blackfin have a good night :)

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  (248): we dont do blackfin have a good night :) http://tfl.nu/42ei
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (652)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  "you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.

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  (432): "you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me. http://tfl.nu/ueh3
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (933)
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  (818): View more from California

  This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.

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  (818): This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate. http://tfl.nu/k2b3
  Replies (39) Good night (1695) Bad night (4787)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.

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  (630): I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting. http://tfl.nu/uotz
  Replies (10) Good night (4683) Bad night (660)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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  (586): we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path. http://tfl.nu/fhzw
  Replies (17) Good night (1037) Bad night (5175)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"

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  (985): when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this" http://tfl.nu/g0yg
  Replies (9) Good night (2191) Bad night (6449)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

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  (519): You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up http://tfl.nu/hzs8
  Replies (10) Good night (2652) Bad night (1261)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..

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  (318): We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed.. http://tfl.nu/orkv
  Replies (3) Good night (4036) Bad night (1090)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.

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  (306): I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park. http://tfl.nu/fvsb
  Replies (5) Good night (3419) Bad night (884)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.

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  (716): I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight. http://tfl.nu/0gxd
  Replies (11) Good night (2200) Bad night (856)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1546) Bad night (637)
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  (707): View more from California

  She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.

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  (707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast. http://tfl.nu/czk4
  Replies (12) Good night (522) Bad night (2589)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?

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  (971): Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art? http://tfl.nu/i4so
  Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (214)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......

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  (860): btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd....... http://tfl.nu/m4om
  Replies (4) Good night (220) Bad night (641)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.

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  (250): all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot. http://tfl.nu/zlsh
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (429)

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