Betty ford says i'm here all night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
