Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We had sex on a dog bed..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays