Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The best revenge is premature balding
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock Theyâ€™ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.