physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
