the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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