Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
