My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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