its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
