Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
