So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
