You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
