Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
