I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
