A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am available for nakedness
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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