What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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