guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire