Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.

(1-514): View more from Quebec

and?

(514): View more from Quebec

luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...

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(514): so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother. (1-514): and? (514): luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne... http://tfl.nu/rdil

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(850): View more from Florida

the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...

(1-850): View more from Florida

that makes sense.

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(850): the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you... (1-850): that makes sense. http://tfl.nu/5jmk

Replies (16) Good night (7428) Bad night (897)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.

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(843): Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/84sw

Replies (13) Good night (2755) Bad night (1193)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self

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(336): i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self http://tfl.nu/v0ky

Replies (24) Good night (4490) Bad night (1183)
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(817): View more from Texas

getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.

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(817): getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned. http://tfl.nu/n40z

Replies (57) Good night (7485) Bad night (1817)
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(917): View more from New York City

My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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(917): My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked. http://tfl.nu/yy4v

Replies (16) Good night (4591) Bad night (1033)
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(310): View more from California

We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.

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(310): We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/spf0

Replies (4) Good night (3539) Bad night (915)
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(713): View more from Texas

Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made

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(713): Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made http://tfl.nu/mjv4

Replies (3) Good night (2137) Bad night (677)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.

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(307): These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line. http://tfl.nu/f42j

Replies (2) Good night (1919) Bad night (704)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

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(508): Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos. http://tfl.nu/qg1c

Replies (7) Good night (1857) Bad night (646)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?

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(978): What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ? http://tfl.nu/aya6

Replies (12) Good night (1583) Bad night (905)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

21st birthday = success

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(781): you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though (1-781): 21st birthday = success http://tfl.nu/y3qn

Replies (8) Good night (1688) Bad night (641)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.

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(715): I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out. http://tfl.nu/zox5

Replies (1) Good night (1085) Bad night (853)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class

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(204): She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class http://tfl.nu/61qs

Replies (8) Good night (709) Bad night (464)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?

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(612): Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe? http://tfl.nu/94og

Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (464)

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