evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sorry about my life...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD