it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
my poor anus
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.