THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.