i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
