Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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