I didn't shave. On purpose
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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